Our minds love comparing ourselves to everyone…
Being jealous always drops our mood. The poison gets into our veins.
It's something that society has planted in us and it creates separation between humans at work and in life.
We try to fix it but it still crops up now and then…
We experience jealousy because:
- We were compared often in childhood by parents, school, and friends.
- Society loves comparisons like giving awards, or showing us what great looks like. We become envious.
- We are so caught up in other people’s lives, that we have forgotten about ourselves.
In business, I used to get triggered when I saw the fundraising article of a competitor in Techcrunch—the one where the founder has a cheesy awkward grin, or the team picture with everyone smiling and hands in the air! It feels like they have it all figured out and we become jealous. We feel like rolling into a ball on the floor, and then being thrown down a hill...
Having been on the startup journey twice, the truth is, no one really knows what’s going to happen after raising money . . . we are all winging it to some degree.
I have learnt these competitor articles are a good thing as it shows our business is on the right path—it’s validation. I now label competitors as peers, where we are simply travelling on the same beautiful journey. Just think, there are more than a million things a human can do in this life. These folks who are being labelled as “competitors” are the humans who have chosen a similar path to you. To me that is pretty cool and we should enjoy the journey together too.
Tips to stop jealousy:
- Observe ourselves if comparing. The moment it's happening, take a few breaths and centre back into the body. This focus to the body will quiet the mind.
- If we do end up playing the game of comparing ourselves to a human, make sure to do a full 100% comparison . . . we cannot just have their intellect, their award, their money . . . we have to be willing to be everything they are—the good and the bad—it’s a full trade of our life for theirs. At this point, we are probably having second thoughts now as there is too much uncertainty. (Thank you Naval Ravikant for this concept.)
- Focus on what's really important. The jealousy trigger may even teach us what may be important for our hearts. Like for me, I would get jealous if I saw other people blogging about similar content that I was interested in and it was a sign for me to start writing. Pain gave me the light.
- Remember there is nothing to really gain in this world. We are born, have beautiful experiences, and then we leave planet Earth. Whatever we desire will vanish at some point anyway, why stress. Relax and enjoy life.
- If all else fails, remember that the DNA difference between us humans and chimpanzees is 1.23% . . . All humans are monkeys anyway. 😂
Don’t get into the trap of envy… stop it before it snowballs. 🙏